I had a dream that I had a girlfriend and she was so pretty and petite and we held each other and held hands and there was apple pie in my dream, too.

This is the fourth dream I had where I was in a relationship this year. I feel so lonely ;__;

I had a dream that my mom fell down these concrete steps and landed on her face and she was all bloodied and I was holding her in my arms wailing, “my mom, my mom” over and over again and there was this ringing in my ears so I couldn’t hear anything around me and even my dad, usually so quick to act, didn’t know what to do.

I can easily say that is the worst nightmare I’ve ever had and I never want to experience anything like that again, whether it be in a dream or real life. Never. I’ve never been so scared.

I’m slowly growing more tolerant of my school and I adore the friends I’ve made there but I can’t help to feel sometimes that I’ve made the wrong choice. That I should’ve gone to another college. 

Mine has the exact major I want, which is why I chose it. But should I have settled for something else?

TODAY WAS SUCH A GOOD DAY IN ILLUSTRATION

We went outside for an hour to sketch some areas around campus and it was just such lovely weather and my friends are really neat and fun and we talked about TWD and OTPs and boys are so cute I love them goodbye.

i don’t know if it’s because it’s spring and the weather is nice or if i’m just tired and worried but all i want these days is some nice tall dude with nice arms and easy smiles and adoring eyes to put his arms around me and tease me about how short i am and it won’t annoy me like it does when other people do it because i know that my height is something he loves about me idk

I have SUCH A HEADACHE I’m so glad I didn’t have to pick up my brother today from his basketball practice ahhh.

Today I went down to the city to meet with my photography class and we went to a couple of photo galleries and looked at some pretty neat pictures and such! Amanda met me there and sweetheart that she is she got me a donut (give me donutes & i will <3333 u). Sadly she had to leave to go pick up her sister and like 10 minutes after she left my professor said that we could all pretty much head back. So I separated from the group and for the first time in my life I was in the city all by myself and it was kind of awesome. Now I know how to get to Port Authority to take the express back home. Like you don’t even know how proud I am of myself. I know the city a lot better now because I didn’t have to rely on anyone else to take me somewhere. I feel like such a champ. I am a champ. 

If I had more $$$ on me I totally would have chilled down there by myself tho.

What I really like about being an animation/illustration major and having classes with other art students is that we all understand art and each other so we don’t judge each other at all. My classmates can look through my sketchbooks and I won’t feel embarrassed about certain drawings that would’ve been too ~weird~ or seen as ~perverted~ by the immature high school students I had to deal with. 

When I was at Barnes and Noble yesterday I keep looking through the sketchbooks they had and I was so tempted to buy one even though I already have one that I’m not even half way through.

I love drawing so much. I don’t ever want to forget this feeling of how much I love it, how happy it makes me when I draw things that I actually like. Even through my roughest art blocks, those days where I truly feel like giving up, I have to remember this feel-good feeling, that this is what I want, this is what makes me happy.

My brother walks into the kitchen. “You’re having another cup of coffee?”

“No, Mommy’s having another cup of coffee,” I respond, turning my back to him as I take another sip of my second cup of coffee.

I don’t know what I’d call my ~art style~ but when my professor glances at my doodles and says “are you always gonna draw anime in my class???” I just don’t know what to do or think or say because I’m pretty sure I’ve deviated away from drawing ~anime-like~ things, you know? And I don’t have anything against anime! That’s how I started out drawing! It’s what originally inspired me, actually! My problem lies with the people that look at my drawings and immediately assume that it’s anime just because it isn’t realistically drawn.

I dunno. I don’t want to let this bother me, because really, it’s no big deal. My professor is an older man, and there’s nothing offensive about drawing anime/manga unless you let it restrict you. I guess I’m just sensitive because I thought I’d grown up and progressed with my art, and having someone say that it’s anime just makes me feel like I’m back to where I started.

I love the campus on Fridays. It’s not crowded and I feel less self-conscience and it’s just so chill. 

My English professor spent Valentine’s yesterday with his wife, sitting on their plush carpet and reading their favorite comic books to each other for four hours. 

That’s gonna be me in the future. With my dog.

I DREAMED THAT TOM HIDDLESTON STARTED MAKING OUT WITH ME AT A WATER PARK i don’t usually have dreams with celebrities i actually like (((years ago i had a dream about the jonas brothers))). But man I think it’s weird ‘cause I haven’t really thought about Tom Hiddleston in a really long time. Aw but hey man I can’t complain. He can hiddle my diddle u know ;)))

But the dream got infinitely better when it switched to me being in a spacious changing room, trying on really cute dresses, when suddenly Jeremy Renner appears and he’s helping me out and we’re holding hands and ohmygaodhfas the adoring way we looked at each other, I

Waking up this morning was the most disappointing thing to ever happen to me, I think.

When I beat Halo 4, I almost cried, but I held back the tears because I didn’t want to look like a pussy in front of my entire family.